Am I Enough To You Now?:
by NeonGreenlover
Summary: Another tragic love story of two stubborn people. One hoping to be enough for the other. Oneshot with OCxMello.


"Congratulations, Near!!"

One.

"Great job, Mello!!!"

Two.

"Nice job, Matt!"

Three.

Where's four? Right here in the corner. Staring at the top three prodigies in becoming the next L, I sit quietly in the corner. No emotion shown, no movement following. Just sitting to the point where I could lose my mind. Fun, right? "Wasn't there another one that did well on the test?" A child younger then I, asks his friend. "Was there? I don't think so." They ponder and then shrug.

It's okay, I'm use to this. I've always been use to this. I'm fine, there's no point in getting upset. No point at all. I'm tough enough. I can handle this. I can, I can, I can, I-

"Hey."

My eyes immediately shine, and I look up. "Y-yes?" An older brunette stares down at me, pondering for some reason. "Can you move? You're in the way." I blinked, "Huh?" He sighed irritated, "I need to get my ball, idiot." I stutter an apology, and got out of his way. Looking back at him, he opens the closet door that I accidentally sat in front of going for, as he said, his ball.

I was too hopeful. I run my fingers through my pale looking creamy-brown hair. Why DID I get hopeful? I mean, are I not use to being unnoticed? I sighed and look at the three being praised, lucky bastards. Really lucky bastards.

What am I saying? I shouldn't be angry with them it's not their fault. Really I'm not THAT unnoticed, it's just I stay too quiet and I'm so passive that I don't get angry even at a fly bothering me. Making a lot of kids forgetting half the time that I'm here, but it's alright. I'm tough, I can handle it.

I turn away from them, un-realizing a certain blonde was looking my way, and walk outside. Some fresh air will do me some good. Immediately as I open the door, nice cool wind kissed my face. I smile happily, and walk out on to the play ground of the Wammy's house. Kids and teens playing with their friends, and my energy boosted high.

I spot an abandon ball on the other side of the playing field and I let out a happy laugh. I run over to it picking it up from the ground. I smile happily to myself while I bounce the ball. Why am I so easily amused? A simple child's toy brings me this much joy just by bouncing it? Guess that's why they say the simplest things in life bring true joy. "Da da di da da-da ni da..." I hum slightly loud to just myself. No one needs to here me sing. Ha.

"Yo."

I dropped the ball and left it there. I stared at the grass, blushing furiously. "Been a while since we talked, huh?" I just stand there. Thank you for him to come up behind me, notice the half sarcasms. "Thorn?" I shook my head, and turned around stiff style. '_Just smile and say hello and then just make an excuse to leave...That should do it._' I hope I'm not blushing.. "Hi, Mello! Great job on that test!" He scoffed, "Why are you congratulated _me_?" I was a bit taken back, why snap at someone who gives you a complement? "B-but...you did great, Mello!! You came in second out of the whole orphanage. So...Why wouldn't I?"

His eyes glare hard on the ground, his mouth frowns to where you think it'll stay that way. "Mello?" "Second to Near...Always coming up second to him..." Huh? "Mello, you should be happy that you're the second successor to L. The whole orphanage would give anything to be acknowledged as one of the top successors-" "It's not enough!" His fists shook furiously as he bit his lower lip. "Even being second is never enough..." Mello's eyes closed in irritation; he clenches his fists so hard I swear blood should be dripping from his knuckles.

"Till I beat Near..." He eyes stared deep and hard into mine burning my very being as he spoke every word. "I will never be happy."

It was so quiet that I could've sworn that everyone outside heard my heart shatter. I could only stare in complete shock in front of Mello. How, why? In all my 14 years of living I've never felt so...so...

Betrayed.

It was like everything around me frozen in time and I was the only one moving. The beating of my heart grew so loud I have to cover my ears. The beating of my heart grew slower not as it was about to stop, no, the slow motion of sound. It made my heart beat sound deeper, slower and even more painful to listen to. I cover my ears, staring into the frozen world, the frozen purple-ish brown tinted playground, frozen Mello, and his cold hatred eyes.

I will never see those eyes look truly happy, not by anyone, not even by me. As Mello said he will never be happy until he beats Near. What if that never happens? What if he never beats him? Mello will be alone and miserable because his stupid pride to be first and acknowledge as the best will eat him alive. He will keep fighting against Near until his death. Nothing will make him happy...Nothing else will.

Nothing.

Slowly looking up I realize nothing really became frozen; it was all in my mind. I was back in reality and it just slapping me in the face over and over and over... I can't do anything for Mello to make him happy. I'm not enough. Beating Near will be enough. I looked to Mello a puzzled look upon his face. "Thorn? Hey, you okay-" "Nothing, Mello?" He put his hand back at his side that was reaching for me. "Nothing, nothing at all will make you happy? You'll live out your life to beat someone just because _you're_ not acknowledged for _your_ hard work? What bullshit!" What am I doing? I can't control my mouth. Everything is just seeping out of my mouth by itself. "Wha-?"

"You think you're not notice for your hard work?" He looked at me appalled. "Since I came here I've been working my ass off to be one of the successors for THE L." I looked at him with a hard stare. "But nothing I do, say, or think will make me come out of the shadows of the top three candidates. But for someone like me I'm never notice too much, or others don't think a girl can do it." Why am I spilling my soul to him?

WHAT AM I DOING?!

Tears appeared at the corner of my eyes, "Don't say that being second isn't good enough! I would do ANYTHING maybe even DIE to get that honor!!" Stop crying; stop crying...Stop, STOP! "And here you are complaining being that even being the SECOND successor isn't good enough. That...! That nothing in this damn world will make you happy unless you beat Near and become number one! You're a pathetic...SAD MAN!!!"

Just as I am a pathetic, sad girl...

Mello stood there shocked, speechless in fact. Now it's your turn to hear my confessions. It's your turn! Just listen to me…

"You don't think I'm happy? The only thing in this damn orphanage that makes me really happy besides being better than you, Near, anyone is YOU-" I slapped my hands over my mouth, I really didn't want to go THAT far into spilling my soul to him. Now he's really looking at me surprised his...his face is slightly red. I cover my face with my arm, "I...I'm sorry!!!" And I ran away and passed other kids who asked what's wrong. I ignored them all and ran into my room.

I collapsed on my bed and screamed hard into my pillow. I looked towards the windows, and lucky me I had a clear view of where I was. Mello was still there, but I could only see his blonde hair and leg. The trees blocked my view. Good...I really don't want to see him...Not after my break down...

I'm an idiot.

A few weeks later in that time I've been avoiding Mello. He would chase after me but I would hide or make sure that someone is around me and make-believe that I am talking to them. I...I know I shouldn't been avoiding him for so long, but every time I think I'm ready to face him, the moment I see his face, I feel so embarrass. So very ashamed. I blurted out my feelings, what I've been trying to do in here, all to him. To the very person who I admire, like, and leaves me breathless with just that cocky smile.

Why him? I don't even know myself. I can't help but laugh every time I question myself why I like him. Crushes are a pain, but ever since I told him I felt more alive, refresh. I guess I telling him moved some weight off my shoulders. Currently I am walking down one of the many halls of the Wammy's 'household'. Every five minutes I've been looking behind me. For who? You should know. Mello, of course. Ever since I've been avoiding him he's been following me seeing why, what the hell I've been doing. Every time I catch him, I run full speed and he throws a fit while chasing me.

But I might say that Mello has helped me lose some weight that I wanted to get rid of.

"What is it, Roger?" Mello's voice ranged in my ears, looking beside me a door was ajar a bit. Thinking nothing of just a simple meeting with Mello and Roger I continue on my way until...

"...L is dead."

I stopped in my tracks, frozen. L is gone...? How is that possible? I mean it's not impossible but it...it's just hard to take in. A lump in my throat appeared as my eyes stung horribly. I refuse to let these tears fall...But I can't help it. I squint my eyes making the tears fall harshly down my cheeks. Don't make a sound...Don't make a single sound...

"WHAT?!" Mello's voice boomed making me jump slightly. There were some yelling, thumping, puzzle pieces clacking on the floor [Which told me Near was in there... At this point I thought even with upon hearing this shocking news I would've run to my room. But...But my feet wouldn't move. Mello's voice probably could be heard all over the household with his screaming continuing. Just for a second it was all quiet...but Mello's voice once again came up, but it sound calm with a hint of spite, "Did he chose?"

Even from here I heard Roger sigh sadly, "L died before he could choose...So we had to come up with a decision on our own." I rubbed my eyes away of the tears, sniffed softly as I gripped the hem of knee-long shirt. "We think it's best if you both took on the name of L." I'm sorry Roger but you seriously think Mello will work along side Near? "...That's impossible Roger." I told you. "You know that Near and I don't work well together. You're always calling us out."

Hearing this made me have a small flashback to a few weeks back when I somewhat confessed to Mello. That's it, I can't listen anymore. I sigh and look back at the door. And with that I walk back to my room un-realizing that I've missed the biggest announcement I'll ever hear of Mello.

Walking again down another hallway I pass by Mello's room, noticing something different.

His door was open.

Growing curious I walk in his room. I don't see him in here, but when I turn my head to look at the other side of the room. I gasp loudly. His dresser's doors are open and empty. I rush to them just making sure I'm not over looking and mistaking it was empty. But as much as I hate to admit it; all of them are empty.

Nada.

Nothing inside them.

Zip.

Fearing the worse, I rush over to Mello's bed, kneel over and look under his bed.

His suitcase is gone as well.

"M-Mello?!" I shoot back up covering my mouth with my quivering hands. He's not here. Wh-where is he? Mello where did you go?! Where-

_Creeeek..._

I tense up, I know that sound. I know it very well. I bolt out of his room and outside. It's raining cats and dogs in the dead of the night. I run towards the gate of the orphanage barefooted my heart feeling heavier by the second.

"MELLO!!!"

He turned around surprised and dropped his suitcase. Nearing him I slip and fall to the hard ground. You really think this is a mushy gushy love story where he'll catch me? Wake up, this is reality, where you'll fall flat on your face and he just stands there staring at you like an idiot like he is doing to me now. "Idiot! What do you think you're doing?!" I look up at him with an angry face with tears at the corner of my eyes. He steps back a bit with a strange look. "I should be the one asking you that, you...you..." I close my eyes letting the tears falling just to mix in with the rain.

I sit on my knees and wipe my eyes with the back of my hands, sobbing loudly. "Hey, w-what's with the tears?!" Mello yelled feeling confused and awkward. "You're leaving...Why?!" I gave him a hard but sad look. He look at me with slight sympathy and shook his head, he kneeled down to meet my eyes. He placed his hand on my shoulder and with his other hand patted my head. "I-I'm not a kid, Mello!" I bark harshly at him. The corner of his mouth twitched into a small smirk. My heart ache deeply knowing he'll leave no matter what I'll say.

I won't be able to fall more for that stupid cocky grin.

"Thorn, why do you care so much?" I tensed angrily at his words. He's forgotten already? Th-That... "...Coldhearted bastard!!" I cry out angrily and stupidly pound on his chest. His hands grip mine pulling them away from his soaking wet chest. "Why? Why? Why Mello? Why are you leaving? P-please tell me why..." I 'hick' between almost every word I said. I feel like such a cry-baby. I AM a cry-baby... "You're such a cry-baby sometimes..." Ouch...what a way to make me feel better, Mello. Thanks, greatly appreciated.

My eyes widen when I feel his forehand on the top of my head. "You're really not making this easy you know..." I sniff and glare at his hands, "Good." I retorted back childishly. "Thorn-" "I don't want you to go." His chest moves when he gives out a heavy sigh. "You know very well I'm going to, whether you like it or not." Harsh, he and I know that, but it's the only way. I know that he's going to go; he doesn't have to tell me twice. Hell, he doesn't have to tell me at all, I just know. We both look at each other with a solemn look.

I move away from him, pushing my drench hair out of my face. "Fine, just go." There's no point in trying to keep him here. He'll leave eventually, whether today or tomorrow. He will leave. He stares at me blankly then closes his eyes. He gets up pushing his hand on his knee as he did. I watch him walk back to his suitcase, picking it up and slinging it over his shoulder. He walks away.

"You know...I'm really an idiot."

He stops in his tracks but doesn't move another inch. "I'm must be the biggest idiot in the world to have falling for you. Nothing I say to you gets through you, nothing I do you will see. You're so dense in your own problems that you haven't even realized someone here cares for you." He doesn't move. "My true feelings go unnoticed to you, don't they? Heh..." I tilt my head to the side, letting the rain drops hit me. "I...I lied." He only turns his head slightly; the only thing I can see is the tip of his nose. "I didn't work my butt off to get the honor to becoming the successor to L. Everything I told you about that was a lie." I look toward the ground but quickly look back at Mello. "Really I did it so you would notice me."

"Now I know it was just all a waste of time-"

_SLAP_

My cheek burns as a red hand mark appears. My eyes are wide with shock but quickly go to an emotionless stare. "Every thing you say is such bullshit!!!" He screamed making me flinch. "I may let my emotion get the best of me, but that doesn't mean I don't see and hear things!!!" Suddenly my shirt collar is yanked, forcing me to stare in the eyes of a furious man. "You're also blind to everything around you!! YOU GET PRAISED FOR YOUR HARD WORK TOO, DAMN-IT!!" I grip his hands that have a tight hold on my shirt. "STOP TALKING AND MAKING THIS LEAVING HARDER THEN IT ALREADY IS!!! I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU DAMN WELL CARE FOR ME!!! I KNOW IT!!" He yanks me closer to his face and I cringed in fear. "IF YOU DID WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?!" I yell back trying to pull his grip off me. "You-YOU DON'T THINK I'VE TRIED?! THESE LAST WEEKS I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU, BUT YOU ALWAYS FUCKING RAN AWAY!!!"

Silence.

"N-neh...You...You have?" You have no idea how stupid and embarrassed I feel right now. Th-these last weeks that I've been running away from him the whole time he wanted to tell me he knew?! I REALLY AM THE MOST STUPID PERSON IN THE WORLD!!! "Y-You're lying, damn-it!" I didn't want to be the one that is wrong...He looked at me like I had three heads and glared. "You're lying so you can make me look ba-" "OH SHUT UP!!!" With that he crashes his lips onto mine.

A spark shoots through out my body and back to Mello. Goosebumps rises on my arms as the sensation fills me with a body-shocking pleasure. Mello pushes harder against my lips; it feels like he's bruising them. A muffed noise of pain comes from my throat; I felt Mello shudder and groan. "Mer-Mer-erlo-" I tried to speak but he just shuts me up again with a lip bruising kiss. I gasp feeling something wet rubbing against my lower lip. I know this is not the rain. Something warm and wet pushing in between my lips then starts rubbing against my own tongue.

Another rough groan comes from Mello. His hands move from my shirt collar to my shoulder and then they grab the back of my head. He scoots his body closer to mine as I just let my hands rest on his thighs. I push my head back letting him know that I need air. We pull apart faces red and breathing heavily. I start giggling and rest my forehead on Mello's shoulder.

"You do know that now I'm going with you."

He sighed. "I know."

[6 Years Later

Standing a trucks loading area being the look out, I huff quite irritated. I lean my back against the van's back door where Mello and some chick Takada are inside. I'm peeved that he is inside while he's making her undress...Let me repeat: HE is INSIDE with HER while she is UNDRESSING. I tap my foot impatiently, what the hell is taking them so long?! Suddenly the door that I am leaning lurches forward making fly forward and towards the ground. Oh yes, a wonderful day I'm having.

Mello looks at me with a look and all I can do is glare at him. He creeps over to a loading dock and places a box of what I can only guess is full of that bitch's clothing. He walks back over and glances at me. He walks pass me raising a brow. I growl and shot my head towards the women naked in the van. She flinches frighten when she sees my glare. I shut the van's door and walk over to the passenger's side and climb in and buckle myself up. I cross my arms over my chest and let out an irritated sigh.

Mello glances at me and starts up the van. A little while later Mello has been giving me glances from time to time. I've been in the same position when I settle myself in the van, but this time tapping my foot. "What are you so pissed about?" Mello oh so 'soothing' voice spats. "I'm not pissed." He shakes his head slightly and turns down the road. "Don't give me that. You always sulk and tap your foot when you're angry." I stop tapping my foot and try to look relax. "What're you talking about? I'm fine, perfectly fine." Mello rolls his eyes, "What did I do _now_?"

I shook my head slightly, "Nothing. You didn't do anything." 'Cept having the van's door close watching a woman get butt naked while your girlfriend is waiting just outside the door. Other than that, you've done nothing wrong. We come to a red light and Mello talking this opportunity he looks at me and studies my body language. From the corner of my eye I see a knowingly cocky smirk plant itself on his face. "You're jealous." I scoff and cross my leg over the other. "I'm not jealous." "You are."

I turn and glare at him and then look straight ahead of me again. "I'm not a jealous person; I'd just like to punch every girl that gave you even a second glance." I mutter spitefully. I heard him chuckle at me. I look over at him and see him leaning closer to me. My face flushes a bit as he gives me a peck on the lips. "You're jealousy is cute." "And your jealousy is sometimes quite annoying." He grabs the steering wheel and pushes on the gas when the light turns green. "I got a good reason to be jealous." "And I don't?" He gives me a look, "Girls don't try to touch a guy when he's with his girl, unlike guys they try to touch some guy's girl _even_ when they're standing right next to them."

I quirk a brow, "You're making no sense…Oh! Just how you started to scream at the old man that was just asking for directions?" He huffed and makes a face. "I saw where he's hands were going." I let out a little laugh, "Right, right." "He wa-!!!" Mello clutch his chest desperately, gasping and screaming in pure pain. I stared in horror and worriedly as I grabbed him with one hand while the other tried to gain control of the wheel. "Mello!?! MELLO WHAT'S WRONG?!" He grabbed my hands and squeezed them tightly. "M-mello!!"

"Tif-!! Tiffany!!" He raspy gasped out my name. Tears brimmed in the corner of my eyes as the car swerved out of control head straight for what looked like a church. "Please, Mello!!!" He gave out another bloodcurdling scream as his head hit the dashboard. I chocked back tears as I looked out the window just enough time for me to see us crashing in the abandon building.

My head smack against the windshield shatter the window and guessing spilt opening my head... My vision blurred with a red tint...I hacked out blood as slowly...tears fell from m...my eyes. My eyes slowly shut wondering only on th...thing...

'_Was I enough for him?_'

Soon after the car went ablaze burning the three bodies within it. The girl that always love the stubborn man died along side him with only one regret as not knowing if she made him happy.

What the man hadn't told the truly sweet girl is that he loved her and he lied to her saying that only beating his rival would make him happy. Truly he did not think that Thorn or her real name Tiffany would make a huge difference to him. What no one new was that in his pocket of his disguise held a black box with a diamond engagement ring residing within it.

Just another love story with an unfinished page...


End file.
